April 2021

Warning: Thar be spoilers ahead argh 🦜

Wow, two posts with my ‘final reviews’ theme. I’m on a roll! Don’t stop me now!

White Lines is a European crime drama that ends up feeling more like a black comedy at times. Admittedly, I even had to go research to confirm that it was actually intended as a pure drama. While this series of posts isn’t meant to be a full review, suffice it to say that once I decided the show was a dark comedy it made a lot more sense to me. I probably just lack the refinement of my European brethren.

At any rate, the series ends with a solid number of plot twists while wrapping up the suspenseful main story of a sister searching for answers around her brother’s sudden disappearance in Ibiza decades ago. (did you hear me pronounce Ibiza the correct way? good) Well…we find out who did it. In a surprise I only anticipated starting in the penultimate episode, it was his best friends. Specifically, in a group for 4 close friends, the two who were recently married took turns killing Axel, while the fourth friend was off his tits on heroin having a lovely homoerotic experience with a literal motherfucker.

Part of me feels like I should stop this review right there…I mean, what a sentence!

But there are other matters to attend to. My favorite part of the series was hands down Boxer. In reviewing his story, appearance (dark, brooding, Spanish rough n’ tumble type), and his purity I’ve made the only reasonable conclusion. Boxer is actually Jesus. I mean, in the final episode we see him tied up (the cross) and water-tortured (this is my blood) all while remaining fiercely loyal and forgiving to the love of his life…who is doing the torturing. Throughout the entire series he’s a calm voice of reason and insight, painted as a working man with real street smarts. Finding out he’s walked away from his life as fixer for the leading crime family on the island was the icing on the cake. His story reminds me of a new rose. We came to his story just as the bud has reached maturity and we get to watch as it opens and achieves its glorious, fragrant final form.

I don’t know if I can speak as well as the rest of the characters. Zoe’s dad…dead. Zoe’s marriage and relationship with her daughter…on the rocks (at best). Marcus…looking to take over the drug business (no lessons learned apparently). Oriol…confesses to murder (dgaf mode achieved). Really not a lot of redemption story lines the way I saw it. I mean sure, you could say the renewal of love between two aging Calaphats was touching, but you’re hard-pressed to find any other redemptive outcome of Zoe’s tornado-like path of destruction through this community.

No complaints though–I wasn’t watching this for the happy ending, and ultimately I found it satisfying, with no major plot line left hanging, and a decent amount of justice meted out.

Overall
Twists: 6/10
Satisfaction: 7/10